This week has been awful, to put it lightly.
Monday night I was visiting a friend in the city who is a tattoo artist talking about possible ideas for my next tat. That part was good. It was a good visit, and I think I've settled on what I'm gonna get. BUT...after I left, I accidentally turned the wrong way down a one way street (Alternating one way streets confuse the hell outta me!), and so obviously I was pulled over. Now this cop...was a jerk. As soon as he demanded my license and proof of insurance, he asked me if I was in a stolen vehicle, and then demanded that I step out. I told him that it wasn't stolen, and he asked what a "Johnson County White Boy" was doing in the city, and I told him I had been visiting my tattoo artist. He told me to sit tight at the back of my car, and ran my name. Upon running my name, he found out I was on probation, called for backup, told me he was going to search my vehicle, and proceeded to tear apart the inside of my car.
He found nothing, and I could tell he was obviously pissed about that, but he had no grounds to hold me any longer, so he wrote me a warning for turning the wrong way down the street, and let me go.
What a great start to the week...and that was just the beginning. I've been feeling depressed and lonely all week, and there has been mass chaos at home with excess fighting between myself and my sisters, and it has just sucked.
However through all of this, I have found the soothing sounds of Elliott Smith to be the best medication ever. Better than any opiate I could snort, smoke, or inject, any drink I could mix up, and any anti-depressant my doctor could prescribe to me.
Now it's the weekend...let's hope that it goes well, and that next week brings better fortune.
Happy Friday!
Cancer Update
1 year ago
Josh, Sorry your week started heading down the wrong way ....
ReplyDeleteBut wow, I am impressed that you even know who Elliot Smith is, not many people do (that I know of). I've always wondered if his death was a suicide or a murder. Its very unusual to stab yourself (twice) in the chest.
I am so glad you are finding your therapy in MUSIC not drugs. I am proud of you. Keep on this path!
I know who Elliot Smith is; he's legendary!! Glad that you are finding solace in his music, as so many people have!! Kindred spirits :) ...I don't like to sound preachy, so please know I'm not tryin to do that. But something that helps me is to try to turn around a situation like yours with the pull-over and the jerk cop...like at least you can look at yourself with pride in your recovery and how that led to the cop not finding anything. Compared to how effed up things can be when we're actively using, your life is now in that place where every cop in sight doesn't have to cause as much worry, maybe??? Also, no matter what, I hope this weekend brings a lot more positive vibes for you!
ReplyDeleteGeez - that stunk :( So not fair!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you found an outlet with music.
Don't know if you're going to NA meetings or not, or a church, but prayer is good too - when you're fighting with your sisters, just take a step back and ask God for grace. You don't need that negativity in your life. I pray for you daily that God's taking care of you.
I hope the upcoming week brings some smiles :)
Hey Josh :) Just left you an award on my blog :)
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Music is my friend too...I thank god everyday for a quick escape with a good song. It really is sometimes the highlight of my day. It's nice to be able to depend on that.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to let you know I am starting a new Blog Carnival, which may be right up your alley.
ReplyDeleteIn case you haven't been to one before, a Blog Carnival is a compilation of links to posts about a specific topic. I've participated in several blog carnivals and enjoyed reading others. It's a great way to find new blogs about a subject one is interested in and to get your own posts read by more people.
As I was looking through the Blog Carnival list, this morning, of the hundreds of Blog Carnivals listed, I didn't find one related to twelve step recovery!
So, I decided to create one.
I set up a separate blog, Stepper's Wisdom, to be the home for this new Blog Carnival. I would love to have you submit some posts from your blog for the first edition, which will come out August 15th. You can find a submission link at my blog.
I'm planning to have new editions every few months.
Thanks!
Hi Josh :) I know how you feel about music. My best friend LOVES Elliot Smith and has recommended him to me many times during my struggle/journey in recovery. For me often, reading=therapy. I love to read fiction but I also love to read the Big Book and personal stories of others who are struggling or have struggled with addiction/alcoholism in their life whether their own or through loved ones. I'm glad to have found your blog. Hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteSome of the articles in your blog are right on target for a new Blog Carnival I'm putting together. Would you consider submitting any of them to the Stepper's Wisdom blog carnival? You can find information about the carnival here:
ReplyDeletehttp://stepperswisdom.blogspot.com/2010/05/steppers-wisdom-blog-carnival-home-page.html
Hi Josh, I am new to this and the Mother of a son who is addicted to smoking oxi-contin as well as other things. I had an intervention almost 2 months ago and it didn't work. He is now living with friends. It is so hard as a Parent to know if you are doing the right thing. I can only go by what experienced people tell me. But throwing out my 19 year old was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You give me hope and I hope you continue to write. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMost days music saves me!
ReplyDelete