Saturday morning was heart-breaking and emotional, just as I knew it would be. Went up to Leavenworth National Cemetery to visit his grave site and spend a few moments with him. That was nice...brought back memories from the past, and I thought about last year on that day...I cut school early to get dope to dull the pain. I didn't do that this year. I did, however, go through more Skoal than usual, but I can handle that. That is the LEAST of my worries, I think. Sure, it would be nice if I could quit, but I've tried, and tobacco is brutal.
For me, I think tobacco is more difficult to live without than OxyContin was. I've tried to quit chewing many times before, and all of those times have resulted in a failure. It sucks!!! Here in De Soto, I pay $4 even for each can of Skoal I buy...and I usually chew anywhere from 1-2 cans a day. It's starting to add up. :[
BUT...I am making another attempt to quit, hence my head hurting. I figure if I can make it to 2 days without dippin' I'll be in good shape.
Take care, everyone!
Josh
Cancer Update
10 months ago
Tobacco is a nasty habit. It is what killed Alex's grandpa that he never met.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, I agree - its the least of your worries. You have the rest of your life to quit tobacco. I was "proud" to brag that my son was the ONLY one at his rehab that didn't smoke. Guess what? He started smoking. It bothers me (my dad also died of lung cancer like Alex's and Kev never got to meet his grandpa either). But considering that opiates can kill you in one use - tobacco seems okay these days. (ps I used to smoke and yes its a bitch to quit but you can do it. plus what girl wants to kiss a guy that chews that stuff? ick!)
ReplyDeletehey every minute counts and I have heard that nicotine is worse than other addictions. Right on for dealing with your pain without getting high! Every minute counts :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on another day sober. I heard an old timer say in a meeting one time "my worse day sober is better than my best day drunk". That has stuck with me b/c how true it is!
ReplyDeleteI used to live in Leavenworth, KS, I assume that is the Leavenworth you are referring too. I lived on Vallhalla Drive. I miss Kansas bad.